


Festive Ecology

by danceswithgary



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Fluff, Holiday Fic Exchange, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, SGA Secret Santa Fic Exchange
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:34:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21808993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danceswithgary/pseuds/danceswithgary
Summary: "So I can be exposed to a new allergen and shreds of alien bark for the sake of a pagan ritual?" Rodney leaned back from the advancing threat, raising a hand to ward it off. "Why would I want to kiss your plague-ridden lips, anyway?"Rodney has a little problem with the holiday.2019 SGA Secret Santa
Relationships: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard
Comments: 25
Kudos: 49
Collections: Stargate Atlantis Secret Santa 2019





	Festive Ecology

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kormantic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kormantic/gifts).



"Hey, Rodney. You busy?"

"I was. Not anymore, I guess." Rodney sighed and shoved his tablet away. He knew there was little chance of finishing his year-end reports while being pestered by an extra-nasally, rough-voiced colonel. He swiveled on his stool to face John, who was leaning against the doorway of the lab. "Why aren't you in bed instead of wandering around spreading your germs everywhere?"

John shrugged. "Got bored. Besides, there's no one here but you, and you're probably already contaminated." He tilted his head and employed one of his more irresistible grins. "Sorry." 

"You're probably right," Rodney said with a sigh. "I think half of Atlantis is sniffling and coughing already. I sent everyone away to either work or die of this pestilence in their quarters in a futile attempt to remain free of infection." He rolled his eyes. "And they've all been saying 'Happy Holidays', as though any of us will be able to enjoy this season of unwanted mucus."

With a raspy chuckle, John straightened and walked towards Rodney's lab bench, rummaging in the left pocket of his BDU shirt. "I brought you something. Remember that snow planet you called Hoth 4?"

"You mean the one that looked exactly like Hoth 1, 2, and 3? And?" Rodney found John's actions suspicious considering the epic snowball fight they'd had at the end of that mission. They'd dripped slush all the way to the infirmary, where Rodney had insisted they be treated for hypothermia. "You brought me a tiny snowball?"

John finally freed a small bundle of leafy twigs from his pocket and held it out to Rodney. "No, when the botanists checked it out, they found something close to mistletoe in the trees. I called dibs so Parrish brought me the first cuts as soon as it cleared quarantine. Miko even found me a red ribbon to hang it." He paused for a moment to turn his head and cough into his shirtsleeve. 

Rodney made a mental note that a hug could be contagious. He leaned back from the advancing threat, raising a hand to ward off the questionable botanical specimen. "So you're exposing me to a potential new allergen and sprinkling me with shreds of alien bark for the sake of a pagan ritual?" Sliding off his stool to facilitate his escape, Rodney grumbled, "Why would I want to kiss your plague-ridden lips, anyway?"

Although John pouted, he stopped trying to hold the faux-mistletoe over Rodney's head. "Parrish said they tested for allergens and that there was no chance of pollen since they brought it in from a world that was in the middle of winter." He dangled the bundle a little too close for Rodney's comfort. "C'mon, get into the season, Scrooge....fuck!"

Both men stared in disbelief at the caterpillar-thing that had crawled onto John's hand. Without even thinking about it, Rodney snatched the unwanted visitor and crushed it between his thumb and finger, then grabbed his half-full coffee mug from the lab bench and flipped it over the bundle John had dropped to the floor. Only John's backward leap saved his boots from the deluge. Seconds later, John's hastily discarded shirt dropped next to the mess, absorbing some of the liquid. 

After cleaning the slimy mess off his fingers with a rag from his drawer, Rodney tapped his radio for an all-call. “Attention personnel! Anyone who has received the so-called mistletoe from Botany needs to return it immediately and report anywhere they have been with it.” Another two taps and Rodney barked out, "Parrish! Send someone to my lab to pick up that infested piece of herbage you so blithely handed to the colonel. You need to scour all the locations to make sure none of the creepy creatures you brought in managed to escape. After that, you need to fumigate _everything_.” He listened for a moment before growling, "While obviously, when it got warm enough, things started hatching. I would have thought you of all people would understand what happens in _spring_."

Tapping the channel closed before Parrish could reply, Rodney turned to John. “Did you take this inside your quarters?”

“No, I came straight here.” The color was slowly returning to John's face as he watched Rodney's overturned mug for any escapees. 

“Good. Then you need to go back to your quarters and shower. Do not take the rest of your clothes and boots inside." Rodney frowned as he considered next steps. "I'll have someone collect them for cleaning.”

John scowled and shook his head. "They can burn them as far as I'm concerned." Rodney knew John's shudder wasn't because he was only wearing one of his black t-shirts in the chilly lab. “ Damn it, I really, really hate bugs.”

“I know. Now go, go." Rodney shooed John toward the door. "I have to try to configure the internal scanners to pick up ridiculously small life signs before Atlantis decides to initiate its own quarantine. I'll check on you when I'm done."

Steering his stool away from the tainted pool of bugly evil, Rodney grabbed his tablet and appropriated Zelenka's workspace. He would have used Miko's, but she'd been moved to the top of his naughty list for supplying the damn red ribbon. 

Right after Parrish, who owed him a new "Because I'm the Physicist, That's Why" mug.

~%~

Quarantine averted, lab decontaminated, and botanists berated, Rodney headed for his quarters for a shower. He was hoping that plenty of hot water and soap would prevent his skin from crawling off his body every time he remembered the creepy crawler he'd squished without a thought for his own safety.

After twenty minutes under near-scalding water with soap and a loofah, Rodney emerged minus a layer or two of skin. It only took him a few minutes to get dressed in comfortable jeans and a shirt that Jeannie swore made his eyes 'pop!' It took him longer to find what Jeannie had handed him as she'd hugged him goodbye last Christmas. 

Surprises in hand, Rodney headed for John's quarters. It only took a wave of his hand and he was inside, the air still carrying the damp from John's equally epic shower. John had left his lights low, so it took Rodney a moment to locate him propped against the headboard of his bed, flipping though a graphic novel he'd doubtless read many times before. He flicked a glance at Rodney, but didn't say anything as he set the book aside and folded his arms, waiting.

'You okay?" Rodney asked as he approached the bed, hands behind his back. 

John shrugged. "I guess." His voice was still raspy. He reached over and grabbed a tissue from his nightstand, blew his nose, and then sighed. "Feeling pretty stupid." 

"You're not stupid," Rodney replied with a shake of his head. "Believe me, I'm an expert when it comes to determining who belongs in that category." He smiled as he set his laptop on the nightstand and took a seat on the bed. "Everything is taken care of. Turns out Parrish was waiting until tomorrow to hang the rest himself, so you actually saved us from an Atlantis-wide infestation."

"Go me." John muttered.

Rodney nudged John until he moved so that Rodney could stretch his legs out next to him. "You know, you started to call me a Scrooge earlier, so I thought I'd prove I'm not." He smiled as he handed John a photo frame. "Remember this?"

"Yeah," John said, a smile finally peeking out from the gloom. He traced the photo of the two of them under a sprig of mistletoe in Jeannie's living room. Jeannie had caught the moment right after John had finally found the courage to tug Rodney close for their first kiss. "I remember." He turned his head toward Rodney, his eyes sparkling. "I'll always remember."

Rodney's throat was tight, but he was still able to manage, "Jeannie gave me something else." He opened his hand and held out a slightly crumpled sprig of the mistletoe Jeannie had crafted from green crepe paper and white beads - in deference to Rodney's allergies. 

"Oh," John breathed out, his eyes following Rodney's hand as it held the sprig over John's head. His lips were warm and a little chapped under Rodney's, but the kiss was as sweet as their first. John pulled back with a puzzled look. "I thought I was too 'plague-ridden?'"

Rodney shrugged. "Not like I didn't sleep here last night. I figure I'm thoroughly contagious now." He traded the mistletoe and photo for his laptop. "Movie?"

"Sure." John snuggled a little closer and rested his head on Rodney's shoulder. "Got "It's A Wonderful Life?"

With a chuckle, Rodney found the movie on the server and queued it up.

Then he sneezed.

**Author's Note:**

> ecology  
> [ih-kol-uh-jee]  
> noun, plural e·col·o·gies 
> 
> 1\. the branch of biology dealing with the relations and interactions between organisms and their environment, including other organisms.  
> 2\. the set of relationships existing between organisms and their environment: _desert ecologies._  
>  3\. the set of relationships existing between any complex system and its surroundings or environment: _the ecology and politics of healthcare._ **dictionary.com**
> 
> Jeannie's crafting  
> https://liagriffith.com/diy-crepe-paper-mistletoe/


End file.
